Take your diva attitude — and your book — elsewhere.

Take it from a managing editor (me): Nobody HAS to publish your book. So you can take your diva attitude and stuff it…and take your manuscript elsewhere, while you’re at it. I CANNOT STAND when authors are unnecessarily rude and crude to editors, agents and publishers who are trying to work with them. We are NOT your whipping boys/girls, so don’t let the door hit you in the a** on the way out! Again, so glad the majority of authors are polite and professional. THANK you!


Proper formatting is a must. Get used to it!

Let’s see: Standard formatting and necessary editing will “destroy the creative essence of my manuscript”? Bullshit. You’d better hope your novel is released in a format and manner your readers will understand and find easy to read. Otherwise, they will promptly trash your book or throw it violently against the damned wall. Quit being ridiculous.

You’re a major news site. Act like it!

When major news sites frequently misspell words and regularly misuse punctuation, I worry about the future of literacy. Are these companies too cheap to use proofreaders anymore, or have they simply stopped caring? This is a worrisome problem that grows with each passing day. The dumbing down of society is occurring at an alarming rate. It’s one thing to misspell or misuse punctuation on FB during casual conversation. It’s quite another to make egregious errors on major news sites.

Submission guidelines are for a REASON! Abide by them.

Arrogant author: “I know your submission guidelines are a certain way, but I refuse to abide by your rules. Therefore, here is my manuscript in a locked PDF format, and you will just have to accept it as I’ve sent it to you.” // My thoughts, “No, we don’t have to accept it as you’ve submitted it. If you cannot follow the submission guidelines and format your manuscript correctly, then you will receive a big fat REJECTION. How about that?” *stabs desk with sharp object in frustration* Wow…the nerve of some people. Thank goodness the AWESOME authors outweigh the pompous JACKASSES out there! Here’s a bit of advice: I’m not YOUR bitch, mmmkay?

“Stop” it with the quotation marks “already”!

Dear writer, if you’re using quotation marks around every other word in nearly every sentence you’ve written, it’s overkill. Do “you” get “what” I’m “saying”? Or do I “need” to point “it” out to “you”?! Stop making “dumb” choices when you “write.” Good thing you have an editor. Otherwise, surly readers would be tempted to bludgeon you out of frustration!